Somewhere in this great big world, isn’t there a boy or girl who will court me by making tantalizing mix CDs with awful-but-sexy songs like “I Wanna Be Your Man” by L.A. Guns and “Butterfly” by Crazy Town – but who will not expect me to drink whiskey and get a bunch of tattoos?
Is that even how you spell whiskey? Is it whisky? The things I don’t know… I am so underqualified for the soundtrack that inspires me. Perhaps at least “FNT” by Semisonic wouldn’t require a radical shift in my lifestyle, except for funkier shoes. I could handle that.
Universe, get with it!