I have now lived in this apartment for just over two years. I’m surprised that I didn’t mark the occasion of moving in here with a blog post – instead, it looks like I didn’t blog at all for May and June of 2003. I can see why that might have happened. I was exhausted from grad school and finally ending a relationship that should have ended long before.
The move into my first “alone” living situation was absolutely bewildering. I couldn’t figure out what to buy at the grocery store. I couldn’t figure out when to go to bed.
I have now figured out when to go to bed (after I should) and what to buy at the store (not the Whole Food whole wheat tortillas, because although delicious they are only 6 to a package.) And surprisingly, I am also in love.
C-Man showed up in my life at the strangest possible time. I had just quit my job, I was about to take two week-long trips, and I was quite convinced that life had slipped me the spinster card. I only posted personal ads that time around so I could keep my license to whine about how I was never going to meet the right person. After all, if I quit looking, I didn’t get to complain anymore. And what’s more valuable than permission to complain?
I could have met him earlier. He’s been in Austin all his life. He was at the law school when I was in my second year of LBJ, and I used to eat at the Subway in the basement of his school and use their library. We were both at the Neal Stephenson reading at BookPeople in the summer of 2003, not more than 12 feet apart. But the universe must have known that I needed some time to work on that alone thing.
When it decided I had aloned enough, in October 2004, I wasn’t quite prepared. I was highly skeptical. I wasn’t instantly infused with the brain chemicals I usually experience when I meet people I’m going to be attracted to. I thought his beard was strange. I didn’t want to date a student. But there was a thought during our first date, after he had watched with amusement as I made a tiny Gojira destroy a Tokyo fence made out of a bracelet, and it was a thought that convinced me I needed to go back and find out more:
“This man wouldn’t look at me like I’m crazy if I wanted to try bringing my own container to buy flour in bulk.”
It was one of the most amazing thoughts I’ve ever had on a date. It was a thought about whether or not he had the same values and life habits as I do, rather than a rush of endorphins from a sense of humor or a smile. Having a thought about real compatibility on a date was a watershed moment in my life.
Luckily, it turned out that his beard isn’t strange, and dating a student hasn’t been bad. And in no short time, I had fallen wonderfully in love with one of the most patient people I have ever met. I am embarrassed when people ask me how it’s going, because it’s so good that I don’t want to gush or start dancing in public.
I love this man, and he’s an amazing person. He takes a quick shower after he takes a bath because he knows baths gross me out. He cares about making it legal for gay people to get married, even though he’s straight. He even actually likes me, despite my incredibly picky and often prickly nature.
It’s just such a shame that he’s evil…