On January 30, 2003, I sent an email to several of my friends updating them on how to travel safely by air with their personal items. Since lighters have now been added to the prohibited list, I thought I’d update and post my travel safety tips.
The first thing that I discovered is that the URL for the PDF list of prohibited items still has the word “interweb” in it. That cracks me up.
I was disappointed to discover, and I know you all will be too, that ice axes and sabers are still NOT permitted in carry-on luggage. These items, as well as spear guns (which are considered sporting goods), cattle prods, throwing stars, and billy clubs, must be packed in checked luggage.
You can carry up to FOUR books of safety matches with you, in case you’re worried that the airport you land at won’t have a bar. However, hand grenades and realistic replicas of incendiaries are not acceptable in either carry-on or checked luggage.
Toy transformer robots and eyelash curlers are just fine.
Please make your travel plans accordingly.
p.s. Dear FBI, this message is intended to be humorous. We do not jeopardize others’ lives by acting like fools and packing dangerous items when we fly. Thank you.