Sorry! Really sorry! You can stop now!

Boy Detective,

Remember a week ago when the thermostat said 76 when I told your father it was fine to put you in fleece jammies and put you to sleep in a crib on top of a plastic mattress protector and then I used some rather uncharitable profanity downstairs when you started crying about five minutes after you went to bed but when I came up there to see what was up and realized you were dripping with sweat because we had unintentionally given you a sauna treatment, I got you changed into more appropriate attire and rocked you back to sleep as an apology? Am I forgiven?

Or is this new long, drawn-out going to sleep process – at bedtime, but also in the middle of the night – a punishment for that inattention to detail?

‘Cause tonight, I’d like to not be up with you between 3:00 and 5:00 again. And I bet your dad doesn’t want to be up with you for another hour after that while I lie in bed still not asleep.

Thanks for your consideration.