This past summer FlickFilosopher asked what fine-art painting would you like to see adapted as a film? I know close to nothing about fine art, so here’s my alternate question for you: what songs would you like to see made into action films chock full of Heroine Content goodness? Here are three suggestions.
First up, Everglade by L7 (click on the name of the song next to their picture near the top for the beginning of the studio version). Here’s my plot outline: Everglade takes crap from no man. After tossing a drunk jerk at the club out the door for his misogyny and general lack of manners, ‘Glade ditches the word “lame” from her theme song (crucial step there!) and then continues her quest to make rock shows safe for everyone by kicking ass.
Second: Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Part 1 by The Flaming Lips. Awesome vision of a woman saving the world from evil natured robots by taking lots of vitamins and getting a black belt in karate. Film would certainly be better than this video.
Finally, saving the best for last, Sci-Fi Wasabi by Cibo Matto (click on the name of the song next to their picture near the top for the beginning of the studio version). Japanese female bike courier in New York City racing through the streets to meet Obi Wan Kenobi, critiquing class division and racism along the way? Hells yes.
Any other ideas? I bet Grace has a country song or two…
This post was originally published on Heroine Content, a feminist and anti-racist movie blog that ran from July 2006 to May 2012.
I could see a nice spy thriller made out of Cake’s “Short Skirt, Long Jacket”. A super competent analyst working in nuclear research… a LeBaron spy car… you know you’d see it.
@Ben, I would see that in a heartbeat, totally!
Choose Me To Be the Champion by Rasputina. I see the origin story for a mixed-race Adele Blanc-Sec as she is trained in the art of Steampunk-y espionage so that she can infiltrate and decimate the imperialists claiming her country and people as their property….
Or maybe it’s a steampunk version of Jacqueline Carey’s Santa Olivia. With fencing and martial arts instead of boxing.
Either way, it’s the origin story for a mixed-race steampunk heroine, kicking ass and taking names while preventing the annihilation of her culture.
I guess the steampunk part isn’t really necessary – the style of music just puts that image in my head.
I’d also like to see Pixar do Bonfire Madigan’s Lady Saves. I say Pixar because this FINALLY gives us the kick-ass animated adventure for girls that I’ve been wanting since cutting my teeth on disney princess flicks. The full title of the song is Lady Saves a Dragon From an Evil Prince. See how awesome a plot we get right there? Evil Prince is trying to take over the world, captures dragon for nefarious purpose, girl defeats evil prince, frees dragon, and creates the magical-creature-Pixar version of the U.N.
I admit, a guilty little part of me would love to see a comedy action flick based around the heroines of Dar Williams’ “Flinty Kind of Woman,” a song about a gang of New England housewives enacting vigilante justice on a flasher who’s been exposing himself to the local kids. They don’t tell the menfolk, because they’d just SHOOT him, and apparently the ladies think that’d be too quick.
“So Peg got a bolt of fishing tackle,
And Marge got her gardening clips,
And Sally LaBiche put her hound on a leash
And the timer on the quiche (She’s kind of a nouveau riche.
But we like her.)”
They take the kids with them in the car to keep watch for the guy, and then the whole thing culminates in a chase scene across the cranberry bog in hip waders. It’s awesome.
@ draconismoi and Dani Atkinson, as soon as I win the lottery, all of these projects are funded in full.
@draconismoi- I know a member of Rasputina personally. I’ll ask her if she can get the ball rolling on that one. :-)
@Skye – Stole the thoughts directly from my head. What’s the point of winning millions of dollars if you can’t buy a movie studio and dedicate it to creating awesomeness?
I’ve similarly fantasized about owning a TV channel. Same principle, smaller budgets.
@ronathan – Yes, tell her to option the movie rights to their albums as quickly as possible. So eminently adaptable.