Dear All The Songs I Am Deleting From My Computer’s Hard Drive,
It’s not you! I’m sure you’re just as thoughtful, well-crafted, and entertaining as you were when I started listening to you 25 years ago. Or 10 years. (Or, for some of you, one year.)
The problem is that I’ve changed!
For some of you, I’ve changed from being a person who has heard you 10 times, to being a person who has heard you 1000 times. Clearly not your fault. Well, maybe it is. You’re a victim of your own excellence? When I was young I didn’t know that one could get bored with a song one loved. Now I know.
For others of you, the issue is… how do I say this politely? I’ve just moved past needing songs about toxic romance and self-delusion in relationships. To be honest, I doubt I needed you in the first place, because you reinforced a lot of my completely unacceptable behavior in those areas. I’m permanently grounded from dating even if something happens to C-Man, so there’s no risk of recidivism, but still there’s not much point in keeping content that hearkens back to the Bad Old Days.
And then there are the mean songs. Yes, you can be funny at times. But I’m increasingly uneasy with having so much mean in my life. There’s plenty of that on the internet.
I hope you have a wonderful life. I really mean that. Don’t let this get you down. Maybe we’ll run into each other briefly someday on Pandora or I’ll hear you coming out of someone’s car window, and we can say hi.
p.s. Yes, I am wearing my son’s sunglasses in this picture. How could you tell?