I have two informal rules about Boy Detective and sleep.
One is that I don’t leave the room if he’s crying. (I have made a few exceptions when I was so angry I thought I would yell at him or I wanted to shake him. In those cases, it was better for me to take a minute or five in my room to breathe before resuming parenting.) I get him calm and put him down before I leave him to fall asleep.
The other rule is that if he really starts to cry, I go to him. I want him to know that if he is upset, I’ll be there. I do not let him cry alone in his room if I think he’s actually upset. (If I can tell he’s just ticked, I often wait and see.)
The problem with my rules is that they’re based on my deep philosophical and moral convictions about how I personally want to treat my child, so I can’t just chuck them out the window when I get desperate.
It’s not that I think getting more sleep is unnecessary, I just can’t figure out a way to do it. I don’t think afternoon naps are going to fill in for the fragmented sleep I’m getting at night, since Boy Detective is waking up screaming anywhere from 3 to 8 times. A lot of sleep advice is vague, or it doesn’t answer the question “And then when that doesn’t work, what do you do next?” His sleep pattern changes every 3-6 weeks anyway, so even if I figured something out, what are the chances that it would work for very long? Also, most proposed solutions that do fit with my values involve me initially getting less sleep, which I currently find terrifying.
Tired. Would like to go back to pre-Christmas behavior when baby slept 7-9 hours each night in one stretch. OK? Thanks.