My Qualifications for Parenting

C-Man: Did you know that the shoulder joint is held together by your bicep?

Me: Huh?

C-Man: (insert long technical explanation here)

Me: I know nothing about the human body, so I did not know that.

C-Man: (more technical information)

Me: Wait, I lied. I know enough about the human body to sing “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes” and point to the right parts at the right times.

(Of course, later that day I held up my hands to do “Itsy Bitsy Spider” and started singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” instead, so reliability is low.)