Holiday Shopping Help

OK, I’m back. :) I got in and out of New Hampshire without altercating with any Libertarians, and I even did some research for all of you while I was there. Since it’s coming up on Thanksgiving, I figured we’re all starting to think about holiday gift giving. So I collected some information, brought it back to the Lizard Labs… Read more »

New Pet?

This morning I found a small wooden elephant on top of my monitor. I have a suspicion as to which of my houseguests placed it there, but it was a little startling. All I put up there was a pinwheel, mardi gras beads, Darth Maul’s head, a tiara, and my Invasion of the Monster Women toys. Oh, and I’m back… Read more »

It’s Got A Bit Of Elevation

So I was all set to condescend to someone who said they were coming up from Dallas to Austin, because Dallas is obviously north. But I thought I would protect myself by looking up the elevations of the two, and it turns out that Austin is officially 38 feet higher than Dallas. Serves me right. You can look up elevations… Read more »

Mix CD Thoughts, 10:12 a.m.

Somewhere in this great big world, isn’t there a boy or girl who will court me by making tantalizing mix CDs with awful-but-sexy songs like “I Wanna Be Your Man” by L.A. Guns and “Butterfly” by Crazy Town – but who will not expect me to drink whiskey and get a bunch of tattoos? Is that even how you spell… Read more »

The Venn Diagram Is Useless!

I know that finding solutions to public problems means compromise. I know that liberals like myself are too prone to spending money because it feels good to help people, and we probably need some more conservative folks around to make us prove that our projects will actually make things better. What I don’t know is how I could ever be… Read more »

Correspondence, Electrical in Nature

Dear The Dog, There is a reason I keep dragging you away from the big poles with the wires on them. It’s called electricity. Also, thank you for licking up the spilled canola oil off the kitchen floor while I was cleaning the rest of it off the counter and out of the phone’s handset. Love, Me

Mothers Are People Too

One of my co-workers is the mother of a toddler. She emailed me a document for a meeting we’ll be in this afternoon, and had this to say about it: “Here’s the cleaned up version (all cuss words and references to dancing girls taken out).” It’s reassuring to have proof that reproduction doesn’t necessarily mean loss of personality.

It’s Like Lying, Except More Annoying

Rick Perry is not my favorite human. He restored some of the mental health benefits to the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP), which is good. It’s not what we had, and a bunch of kids have lost eligibility for CHIP completely because of rule changes, but at least we’re not going to become the only state that has a CHIP… Read more »

I Am A Rock

I have learned much from living alone for the past five months. I create less trash than I thought. Being in a vegetarian-only space is more important to my sense of well-being than I knew. I like hitting snooze several times on the radio-alarm clock and waking up slowly in the morning. I hate being the only one who ever… Read more »