If I Had A Nickel For Each Time I’ve Said One Of These Things Lately, I’d Buy A Pretty Blue Prius

I’m pretty sure that half of my daily speech these days is composed mostly of the words “hey” and “diaper” and “Boy Detective” and “ow, stop pulling out my hair please.”

The other half of my speech is almost exclusively these phrases:

  • What?
  • I’m sorry, what?
  • Say again?
  • I can’t hear you.
  • I didn’t hear any of that.
  • The first part of that sentence was?
  • I got everything until…
  • What was that second part?
  • Was that English?
  • I’m sorry, were there words in there?
  • I know you were talking, but I have no idea what you said.
  • Huh?

When I’m around my sister, I say these things all the time, but I know why. She’s a mumbler, she married a mumbler, and they are raising three little mumblers. No one has a clue what anyone else is saying, just like in Europe.

But in my own home, I have no idea what the deal is. I’m pretty sure C-Man used to speak clearly, and I could hear him. We had conversations. Is his demanding schedule of fatherhood combined with staying up late to play Virtua Fighter leaving him insufficient energy to articulate words? If so, he may need to turn in his joystick for a week or two. Or I guess I could just ask him to email me if it’s actually important?