During my extremely busy weekend preceding the start of my new job, I attended the graduation ceremonies of the Marquis. There were many things about the ceremonies that were outstanding, so I felt compelled to make a list.
Things that were better in his graduation than mine:
- More mariachi bands. He got one; I got none. I got an organist, but the mariachi band dressed way better.
- More guns. He got at least two, carried by ROTC folks who did something I can’t recall; I got none. What would have happened if the Visigoths had attacked during my graduation? I’m just sayin’.
- More people graduating. He got over 700, I got just barely over 100. When I go to a graduation, I want to see graduating! A lot!
- More Republican women robots making speeches. He got one; I got Gwen Ifill. Ms. Ifill was quite nice, actually, but not as cool as robots.
- More other people’s parents being nice enough to buy me lunch. My parents bought me (and a few other people) lunch after my graduation, but I know where that money’s coming from – my inheritance!
So it was a wonderful event that could only have been improved if I hadn’t needed to rent a car in order to attend. Of course, then I wouldn’t have gotten a ride on my first day of work. So perhaps it was perfect.
Congrats, Marquis de Sod!