My Mother In Law Likes The Ladies

My mother in law went to the park a few days ago with my son, his shoes, and his sippy cup. She returned with all of those items and also some digits. For me.

Apparently, she struck up a conversation with a woman whose almost two year old son has the same name as Boy Detective. Woman just moved here from L.A., she is a writer, and she is looking for friends. Don’t ask me how they got to a point in the conversation where the woman said “I want some friends.” Don’t even ask me if she really said that, because I wasn’t there, but that’s how it was relayed to me.

Not that I don’t want friends. Like, in town. No offense to my friends in Portland, Los Angeles, Missoula, Houston, Minneapolis, Washington D.C., NYC, Connecticut, Colorado Springs, Wichita, St. Louis, and elsewhere, but y’all are awfully hard to visit – especially since you won’t all at least move to one place.

So what the heck do I do? My mother in law is picking up women for me on the playground! This is so disturbing.

Before you give any advice, you should also know that Woman apparently expressed trepidation about the tattoos sported by the mommies in our neighborhood park. Yes, folks, it’s beyond tramp stamps, we’re talking big ol’ back murals and full sleeves. MIL said that Woman was “one of us” but can she really be one of us if she’s worried about tattoos on a mom who’s helping an 18 month old kid go down the slide?