1. Something bad happening to my kid.
2. Libertarians taking over the country.
3. Discovering in my 40s that I was just as self-absorbed and horrible in my 30s as I was in my 20s, and thus all my self-congratulation in my 30s about finally becoming a reasonable human being were delusional. And then having the cycle repeat in my 50s.
4. That I will be required to eat kale every day to stave off a deadly disease.