Thing #1: Sitting at wobbly tables at restaurants. During restaurant visits, I would like to focus on two things: my food, and my conversation with the other people at my table. Managing furniture is not on the list.
Thing #2: Putting sugar packets or folded up napkins under a table leg in a restaurant so the table will not wobble. I am 37 years old, surely I can be done with this.
Thing #3: Checking my spam folder to make sure I didn’t miss any real e-mail. What the heck is the point of the spam folder, then?
Thing #4: Those conversations about who is going to have how much scrambled eggs (or whatever) that take way longer than is reasonable. You know what I’m talking about. They go like this.
Person A: Did you get enough?
Person B: Yep.
Person A: Are you sure? I can take less.
Person B: I’m not saying I won’t eat a little more if there’s some left.
Person A: But you got enough?
Person B: Yes. But don’t eat more than you want to just to make sure it all gets eaten, I can finish it off or we can toss it.
Person A: Okay, I think I’m going to leave a little bit and see how I feel after I eat this.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I START SCREAMING BECAUSE I JUST CANNOT DISCUSS THE EGGS ANY LONGER.