Life is officially too short for all of these things

Thing #1: Sitting at wobbly tables at restaurants. During restaurant visits, I would like to focus on two things: my food, and my conversation with the other people at my table. Managing furniture is not on the list.

Thing #2: Putting sugar packets or folded up napkins under a table leg in a restaurant so the table will not wobble. I am 37 years old, surely I can be done with this.

Thing #3: Checking my spam folder to make sure I didn’t miss any real e-mail. What the heck is the point of the spam folder, then?

Thing #4: Those conversations about who is going to have how much scrambled eggs (or whatever) that take way longer than is reasonable. You know what I’m talking about. They go like this.

Person A: Did you get enough?

Person B: Yep.

Person A: Are you sure? I can take less.

Person B: I’m not saying I won’t eat a little more if there’s some left.

Person A: But you got enough?

Person B: Yes. But don’t eat more than you want to just to make sure it all gets eaten, I can finish it off or we can toss it.

Person A: Okay, I think I’m going to leave a little bit and see how I feel after I eat this.


3 thoughts on “Life is officially too short for all of these things

  1. Angelina

    You are much too polite with each other about eggs. A more direct style of conversation is the answer:

    Person A: I want the rest of the eggs. What are the chances you’ll fight me for them?

    Person B: I’m still too weak with hunger to fight you for the eggs.

    Person A: Awesome.


    Person A: Did you get enough?

    Person B: Yep.

    Person A: Awesome.

    There you go – now you have a new script to run!

    Wobbly tables are the WORST.

  2. Skye

    @Sarah, actually I did run out of blog material about two months ago and bugged your house for inspiration. Thanks!

    @Angelina, I would totally prefer to have either of those conversations over what happens in our house!

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