You know what’s an AWESOME idea?

Convert your toddler’s crib into a bed two nights before your husband goes on a business trip.

Wait, no, I have a better awesome idea!

Make sure that the toddler in question is known for being extremely active in his sleep.

Wait, no, I have an even BETTER awesome idea!

Make sure that you’ve hit the point in your insomnia cycle where the maximum you can sleep at any one time is 5 hours, which doesn’t even happen every night, and the idea of taking Lunesta is so sweet that it almost makes your hands shake.

Oh, no, wait, I can totally top that.

Make no backup plan whatsoever for what happens when your toddler keeps falling out of bed.

Once an hour.

Because no one could see THAT coming.

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