The Scene: A Denny’s near a large airport in Houston, Friday night, around 10:30 p.m.
Me: Actually, it’s time for me to take my pills. Except I don’t think I have any that are already cut up, I was going to do that at Mom’s house.
C-Man: I have a knife, hand them over.
(Waitress walks up while C-Man is cutting blue and white pills in half on a plate.)
Me: I swear these are legal.
Waitress: Whatever y’all are doing, it’s y’all’s business.
(Waitress walks away.)
Me: I don’t think it would have made that any better if I told her I was pregnant.