But What About The Goldfish?

Here are my favorite passages from an anti-gay email being circulated in Texas. I’ve saved you the pain of reading the rant-o-matic part at the beginning, which is standard “tell your godfearing neighbors to defeat gay marriage” junk, and excerpted the good parts.

Marriage is about a man and a woman raising children, not 2 gay roommates in a sexually dysfunctional relationship raising a goldfish or a dog. Do you try to teach your children good values or your goldfish? Have you ever tried to teach a goldfish the difference between right and wrong? Do you save money for your cat’s college education or your cat’s wedding? Married couples save money for their CHILDREN’S college education and their daughter’s wedding. Heterosexual couples change their baby’s diapers several times a day and read to them, but gays just tell their cat to go to the litter box and feed their cats food scraped off the floor of a slaughterhouse. Gays, by definition, don’t get up all night and breast feed any babies. Married women do this all the time.

Men and women look forward to the special day that their children will also have children, God willing. Grandchildren. This is nothing at all like looking forward to the day your dog has puppies or your cat has kittens. In fact, when many people’s dogs have puppies or their cat have kittens, they take often them down to the animal shelter were most of them are euthanized or killed.

Married man and woman come together to raise children and this should be honored and respected. The only thing “gay” couples raise are goldfish, dogs and cats. Nobody’s dog or cat ever grew up to be a businessman, fireman, doctor, preacher, teacher, maid, garbage man, singer, artist or even President of the United States.

Probably less than 1 in 175 gay “couples” want to adopt any children. That is why they are “gay,” because they do not want to raise children.

What I take away from this:

  • Gay marriage is wrong because The Dog won’t ever grow up to be President.
  • Things that are rare do not exist.
  • Goldfish are suffering. And likely running amok, having never been taught right from wrong.

3 thoughts on “But What About The Goldfish?

  1. GlennM

    Not to mention the hoards of goldfish that animal shelters are forced to euthanize every year. Yeah, I heard the shelters are overloaded after Katrina and Rita because they were still overloaded from all that flushing.

    You also forgot to mention:

    – If you have a pet, you must be gay. Hmm, looks like the estimate of gays being in the single-digit percentages is waaaay too low.

  2. Januari

    It’s amazing to me that the author does not realize how ridiculous he or she sounds once they re-read what they wrote. And BTW, my dog seems to think she is a functioning member of society, serving as mine and the kids 24-hour security guard.

  3. Carrie

    Also, since we don’t have children, we’re not *really* married. And that one is not queer because one is attracted to people of the same sex, but because you hate those smelly little children. Probably would drop ’em off at the pound for euthanasia given a chance.

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