My Funeral (which is hopefully far away, but about which I have opinions)

For the record, I’d very much like “Come On Up to the House” by Tom Waits to be the music – the actual recording, not some subdued organist’s rendition. It’s not a hymn, so no one has to sing along, especially because I think asking my mother to sing the line “Come down off the cross, we can use the wood” probably amounts to religious harassment.

I believe in an afterlife where Everything Is Just Fine, so if they can work with that and still offer comfort to my parents and my sister I would appreciate it. And careful with the G word, because I’m allergic to it and it would be disruptive if my ashes started sneezing during the ceremony.