Have you seen those blog challenges where the author must post five or ten things about themselves they genuinely like? Sometimes there’s an added stipulation that you can’t undercut anything on the list, like by saying “My eyes are lovely, which is a good thing, because people notice them instead of my nose.”
I have never found it difficult to come up with a list of my outstanding qualities.
I have also never found it difficult to come up with a similarly sized list of my faults. With detailed examples and possibly footnotes.
Overall, though, I’m convinced that I’m awesome. One negative side effect of this is me acting like a complete jerk without realizing it. Exhibit A: my twenties. Another negative side effect is that I’m in a perpetual state of confusion about why I can’t keep up with my current life.
Why is it not possible for me to work, parent, wife (is that a verb?), clean, balance the checkbook, have friends and hobbies, and also make time to save the world? I should be able to do all of these things, because I so obviously rock.
The fact that never in my entire life have I done as many things as are on my to-do list, and I have less time than ever before, is no impediment to my shock that more is not getting done around here. The HSA receipts are not attached to their proper monthly statements, the child’s closet ONCE AGAIN has a bunch of stuff piled on the floor, the lamp we stopped using several months ago has not yet been given away on Craigslist, the dog is scratching her hair off again and no one has called the vet, the blogs are neglected, I haven’t sewn anything in years, the baseboards are really quite gross in the kitchen, ironing is only dimly recalled, any pretense of nurturing the yard has been abandoned, please don’t go into my garage, the Netflix disc has been sitting here for two months, I have friends in L.A. and New England I haven’t talked to in a year or more, and it would be awesome if I could wash my hair every other day instead of… whenever it happens now. Every three days I hope.
The towels keep coming out of the wash with this musty smell and I don’t know why. I’m paranoid that the drought means we may have foundation problems eventually and we could possibly be doing something about that but I haven’t even looked online for basic info. We’re using way more water than last year even without maintaining the yard and surely I should do something about that. I have cards from lovely people I met at BlogHer this year (and last year) that I should sort through and do something with.
If I were as cool as I think I am, the closets would be cleaned out on a quarterly basis, the hand me down clothes would go straight into a box for Goodwill or a friend (Hi LC!) and be sent straightaway instead of sitting on my office floor for six months. With all the shoes Boy Detective has ever outgrown. And our broken bathroom scale. And the wedding present we got for my cousin but never managed to drop off at their house which is 10 minutes away. I would have already called the bank to find out why the Quicken download of information from my mother in law’s credit card that’s attached to C-Man’s account has stopped working, claiming that the password is incorrect even though it used to work and no one has changed it and why does everything have to be so much HASSLE?
I am seriously considering taking up caffeine again, after more than 15 years without it, just so I can handle my life. My alternative seems to be making a choice between blogging and reading comics, or dropping both entirely because there just isn’t room for that and sleep too.
What do people with actual difficult lives do?