I Don’t Think Babies Are Supposed to Drink Rum Anyway

After the baby with a terrible cold had successfully avoided having his nose suctioned out…

Me: Yes, you won. It’s a pyrrhic victory, though.

Baby (voiced by dad): A parrot victory?

C-Man: Son, you’re a ninja, not a pirate, you don’t need a parrot. You can have a parrot if you want one, but they’re a lot of work. It’s not all yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum.