Dog v. Girl

Excerpt of dog’s activities for the day:

  • Thrash violently at any movement by girl while dog and girl are on couch, as if afraid to be crushed.
  • Lie placidly in bathroom doorway as girl steps over dog repeatedly to get in and out of bathroom.
  • Pretend to find food on kitchen floor and lick linoleum.

Excerpt of girl’s activities for the day:

  • Look at precariously balanced, delicate object perched on ledge in home.
  • Conclude that there is insufficient space on ledge for additional object.
  • Place additional object on ledge.
  • Yell “Oh f&*k g@dammit!” as delicate object falls over onto computer monitor, throwing the small metal objects it previously contained across desk and onto floor.
  • Retrieve and replace small metal objects in delicate object and delicate object on ledge.
  • Retrieve small plastic bust of Darth Maul and replace on top of monitor.

I think The Dog is winning.