Category Archives: Conversations

Strangely, I Didn’t Take That Deal

Me, removing Cheerios box from cabinet: (annoyed noise, hard to transcribe) C-Man: What? Me: I put it away upside down. C-Man: It wasn’t me, I didn’t do it! Me: I said, I put it away. You were on the moon, with Steve. C-Man: What? Me: This is one of the things that depresses me about my life. You refuse to… Read more »

I’m So Glad We Didn’t Get Arrested

The Scene: A Denny’s near a large airport in Houston, Friday night, around 10:30 p.m. Me: Actually, it’s time for me to take my pills. Except I don’t think I have any that are already cut up, I was going to do that at Mom’s house. C-Man: I have a knife, hand them over. (Waitress walks up while C-Man is… Read more »

The Periodic Table Can Come in Handy

Co-worker # 1: Her colors for her wedding are silver and blue. Those are her favorite colors. Me: Silver isn’t a color. Co-worker # 2: Yeah, do metals count? Me: No. Co-worker # 2: My favorite colors are zinc and aluminum!

I Love My Boss

Boss: Can I ask you to do me a really huge favor? Me: Hell no! Boss: I’m late for a meeting, but can you just recheck the math in this email?

If I Could Just Stop Telling On Myself!

C-Man: I just had a veggie burger for dinner yesterday. Me: I didn’t. I had…umm… C-Man: Junk food? Me: A handful of jellybeans. C-Man: That’s what you had for dinner?! Me: And I didn’t feel all that great afterwards, I tell ya. I probably won’t eat jellybeans again for about 24 hours. C-Man: I’m not leaving you alone in the… Read more »