By renting this movie, I have become part of the problem. I have to admit that. Renting a movie is like a vote for a movie, and if I had ANY idea how bad this movie was I would not have cast that vote.
I don’t think it’s fair to even evaluate BloodRayne on feminist or anti-racist grounds. It’s such a generalized insult to all of humanity, I don’t think it’s aimed at any one group in particular. Rayne completely lacks heroine content, being neither powerful, nor driven, nor interesting, and requiring lots of saving, but this problem pales in comparison to the overall badness of the film.
So I will instead try to be constructive and point out some useful information that the film’s creators seem to have missed. Perhaps they can use this in their future endeavors. (Hey, I’m trying to think positive here.)
Eight Tips for the Creators of BloodRayne, Not That They Care
- Women’s midriffs are not armored. Leaving them bare is dangerous.
- Also, “superwench” is not a good low-key look for traveling when all of the other people in town are fully dressed.
- It’s hard to take an ass-kicking heroine seriously when hitting her on the head leaves her unconscious for over 12 hours while she’s on horseback.
- If your characters will be handling swords, make sure they have a chance to at least pick one up before filming. Only Michelle Rodriguez looked like she could possibly handle the weapons she was using.
- Adding a mullet to a modern day haircut does not make you look like you’re in the 1700s.
- People in the past were allowed to use contractions. Really.
- Some scenes work better when they’re longer than 5 seconds. Like the ones where the characters are explaining what the hell is going on.
- If you don’t spend half your budget on fake blood, you might be able to afford a writer to tie up loose ends in the plot.
In closing, I would like to reproduce the subject lines of the first two comments on the IMDB entry for the sequel, BloodRayne II: Deliverance:
Comment #1: WHAT THE HELL!?
Comment #2: Oh no!! Please STOP!!
My thoughts exactly. Zero stars, for setting all people on this planet back at least 20 years.
This post was originally published on Heroine Content, a feminist and anti-racist movie blog that ran from July 2006 to May 2012.