Baby’s First Slumber Party: The Rest of the Story

I have received a comment that I feel the need to address, related to the post in which I disclosed that Boy Detective was sleeping away from home for the first time:

You need to follow up here…what happened? And, by the way, I believe this is the first time I have ever read your blog. I can’t promise I will again…

I’m not sure where this commenter gets off demanding specific content when she states that she will likely never patronize the blog again. However, it was a mildly interesting episode and one I did not blog about on the kiddo’s own blog, so I will comply.

Boy Detective’s grandmother had just finished a successful afternoon babysitting shift that allowed me and C-Man to get away from our no-nap-today progeny for a few hours. I don’t even remember what we did. Whatever it was, we were still both pretty drained when it came time for us to take back our child care responsibilities for the evening. So my MIL said “Why don’t I take him to my house? Boy Detective, do you want to have a sleepover at Grandma’s house?”

Grandma’s house, you must know, is the epicenter of all Good Things. Blueberry pancakes, finger paint, tubs of toys, two pet cats, and most importantly Aunt FrogPrincess (no relation to yours truly except by marriage). Oh, how this boy loves his Aunt FrogPrincess. So once he has been asked if he wants to go to Grandma’s house, it’s going to take some work to pry him off the idea, no matter how freaked out Mommy is feeling about the whole thing.

It’s not like I thought anything horrible would happen, because there are enough adult drivers involved to transport the child back home at any hour of the night if it all goes horribly wrong. But I don’t think he has a clue what “sleepover” means, so this does not qualify as informed consent. I also don’t like to be rushed into making decisions, and suddenly I had Boy Detective yelling “Go to Grandma’s house” and MIL saying “It’s going to be so much fun!” and C-Man saying “Sure, why not, where’s the pack and play?”

When we couldn’t find the pack and play sheet, I was relieved.

Then C-Man kept looking and looking and I was so annoyed that I had not put it away properly and then lo and behold he found it. I felt like I was being pushed along by a train and so I packed up a diaper bag and sent them on their way.

C-Man and I walked down to the Whip In, the nearby liquor store that was actually a liquor store when I lived right behind it in 1996. Now it’s added a seating area, a selection of hippie groceries, and you can get Indian food. Their slogan is “Namaste Y’all” and I think that just about sums it up. We came home with treats and watched The Fall, a movie which was very lovely to look at but way too depressing. It was really nice to be able to watch a movie while sitting on my own couch and turn the volume up to a level where I could actually hear the dialogue. Most of the time, these days, we turn subtitles on.

By the end of the movie, though, I was regretting having sent Boy Detective over to his grandmother’s. I did not have enough time to think about it, I haven’t been over to her house in a long time so I have no mental picture of where he’s sleeping, and I just feel icky about the whole thing. By this time, it’s about 9:30 p.m. C-Man asks if I want to call over there, but I don’t want to call in the middle of MIL trying to put him to sleep. His bedtime is around 8 p.m. usually but when she babysits over here, he has often managed to play her like a cheap violin and wrangle far more songs, backrubs, stuffed animals in the bed, bottles of milk, and various other delights than his parents would ever provide.

Which is what grandmas are for.

I finally said yes, call on the cell phone. No answer. We get a call back. He is not asleep. He is bouncing around in his pack and play getting Aunt FrogPrincess to sing to him about elephants. Grandma is ASLEEP. Aunt FrogPrincess is trying to put him to sleep by herself, despite never having done it before. And she has not given him his pacifier, without which the child has not gone to sleep since he started not falling asleep while nursing.

The phrase “WHAT KIND OF CLOWN SHOW ARE THEY RUNNING OVER THERE?” may or may not have been uttered by me.

Within the next few minutes, the following happened:

1. Aunt FrogPrincess was instructed to bring him back if he was not asleep at 10:00.
2. She woke up Grandma, who had apparently fallen asleep in the dark room with the pack and play while keeping Boy Detective company as he was supposedly falling asleep.
3. Pacifier was located, since it had been packed IN THE SAME ZIPLOC BAG AS THE BOTTLE THEY GAVE HIM HIS MILK IN.
4. Grandma called and said everything would be fine now, thanks!
5. Grandma was instructed in no uncertain terms to bring child back NOW.
6. Grandma called back and said that she told Boy Detective his father said he had to go home, to which he strenuously objected because SLEEPOVER WITH AUNT FROGPRINCESS!
7. Grandma replied “But you’re not sleeping!”
8. Boy Detective said “SLEEPING!” and lay down and within 2 minutes he was asleep.

Do you believe that last part? ‘Cause we’re still not sure if we do.

When he arrived back home the next morning, he was pleasant and cheerful despite going to sleep a full two hours later than normal. He didn’t even take an overly long nap.

Do you know what I spent all day thinking?

OH MY GOD MY TWO YEAR OLD IS GOING TO START STAYING UP UNTIL 10:00 AT NIGHT AND MY LIFE IS OVER!

But it did not happen.

So that, my friends, is the rest of the story. I hope my little sister who never reads my blog is happy now.