Thus spake the Creator:
Listen closely, my son. I will tell you a story that will become the movie known as Tron: Legacy.
I was separated from you because I became fascinated by a world beyond our perception. A shiny world full of glowy lights, where all the women wear five inch heels and lots of makeup and not quite as much clothing as the men.
In this shiny world I found you a princess I mean girlfriend! She is terribly important. She could change the world. She can drive and run and fight and fly planes. But do not fret, my son. She is just competent enough to be sexy to geeky guys like us, but not so competent that she can get much done on her own. She is charmingly naive at times, haha she thinks Jules Verne is alive! She’s never seen a sunset, how sweet!
As long as you can battle through these trials (with my help of course) where the outcome and the method of winning are so obvious that no plot tension builds at all, and save the princess I mean last isomorphic algorithm a.k.a your new girlfriend and take her with you out of the castle I mean shiny computer world, you will be the new king I mean revolutionize the software industry for great justice!
[Editors’ note: Usually we do not allow guest posts by movie characters, but upon seeing this submission, we just felt that Kevin Flynn could do a much better job narrating his own mythology than we could. Tron: Legacy delivers nostalgia, pretty visuals, and according to some people a good soundtrack. If anyone argues that Quorra (Olivia Wilde) is a fantastic new addition to the action heroine canon, they need to take a nap and try again later. To Skye’s bored observation that she could be written out of the movie completely with no effect, the only defense proffered by Skye’s movie viewing companion was “But then what would the kid have as a prize?!” Point made. And we can’t remember any significant people of color in this film, can anyone else? One African-American guy in a bar urging revolution does not diversity make.]
This post was originally published on Heroine Content, a feminist and anti-racist movie blog that ran from July 2006 to May 2012.