On a late Sunday afternoon recently, I said to C-Man (out of Boy Detective’s earshot) “I REALLY NEED HIM TO STOP TALKING RIGHT NOW, and I know I am not going to get what I need, but I just have to tell you that’s what I need.” Then I said to Boy Detective: “Please go upstairs and jump up and… Read more »
Child development and parenting books lay out a series of developmental milestones that children are supposed to achieve, with sample timetables. I don’t know if these do more harm than good, since kids are kids and not machines. They all do things a little differently, and some kids whose bodies or minds work in their own unique way have their… Read more »
Boy Detective: I like that song, what’s his name? Me: That woman who was rapping? Boy Detective: That’s a girl? Me: Yep. Her name is Lady Sovereign. Boy Detective: Lady Sovereign? Well that’s a way COOLER name than LADY GAGA! Side note: He’s working on referring to adults as “men” and “women.” It seems to be a fuzzy concept for… Read more »
In honor of the release of The Wolverine tomorrow, I present this conversation between myself and Boy Detective, back when he was three: Boy Detective: Wolverine’s mad because someone (indistinct) his beer. Me: Someone drank his beer? Boy Detective: Someone TOOK his beer. Me: Well that would make him mad, that’s for sure. Boy Detective: (indistinct) Me: What? Boy Detective:… Read more »
Thanks for the warning, unknown Whole Foods Shopper. My guess is that a five year old drove it. That’s one chore we’re NOT ready for… The first time my child had considered that he might be responsible for regular household chores was undoubtedly this conversation, from last fall: Boy Detective: Why are there no towels? Me: Because you didn’t do… Read more »
His enthusiasm, though, has been unmatched since he discovered knock-knock jokes: Knock knock! Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? ONE TIME A VAMPIRE FISH JUMPED OUT OF THE WATER AND TRIED TO BITE YOU! For those playing along at home, this one was circa fall 2012 while I was on hiatus from blogging. But trust me, we haven’t gotten much further… Read more »
Boy Detective: I never give up! Unless there are real live chainsaws. Me: That’s fair.