Boy Detective: Mommy, can you check and make sure there’s coconut pie left in the box? Me: There is. If that’s the pie you want tomorrow, that’s fine, you can have some. Boy Detective: You’re lying.
C-Man, while waking up: Did the doctor say to take the omeprazole twice a day? Was I here for the whole conversation with him? Me: Yes, and pretty much yes. C-Man: I’m so glad I get to see my son again. I’m so glad I’m going to be here to raise him. Not that you couldn’t do a perfectly fine… Read more »
Mark: I have to learn to make this cake. Grace: It’s not that hard to make this cake. Mark: I know, what I’m saying is that I really need to do it a couple of times so I get it down. I could make a better cake than this. Grace: I could make a better cake than this too. Mark:… Read more »
a series of emails which are probably funnier to me than they are to anyone else… C-Man: YES! (link to photo of character in new movie) Me: So what? C-Man: The costume actually looks good! Me: I don’t even know what the original looked like. C-Man: (link) Me: Don’t you have a job? C-Man: MY BOSS IS LOOKING AT IT… Read more »
Sister: So I finally found the thank you cards my children wrote you! And D. was really helpful and mailed them… except he didn’t notice I hadn’t filled in the house number yet. Now, they’re back at my house. Me: This email is better than getting the thank you cards, actually. Sister: I’m glad I provided some comic relief. I… Read more »
C-Man: Son, cats and dogs are just natural enemies. That’s just the way the world works. Boy Detective: What about kangaroos? C-Man: Kangaroos and what? Boy Detective: Penguins.
Her: Now I must force myself to go to court. And put on a bra. Me: I think you should do it in that order. Her: Should I put on the bra at court?
Me: I think you just need to break down and buy a new belt. C-Man: It’s just so annoying. I know it’s here somewhere! Me: I still think that buying a new belt is going to be more effective at holding up your pants than complaining for another six months about how you wish you could find your belt.
Me: Why is your husband sending me game stuff on Facebook? Sister: You can block him. You should totally block him. Brother-in-law: I think when you sign up by default it shows you as a possible player. If you don’t want ’em anymore, I won’t send ’em. Sister: Just block him. You said you wanted to be on Facebook so… Read more »
Father of child: Pull yourself together! What’s wrong with you, boy? Mother of child: I think he may be six.