In honor of the release of The Wolverine tomorrow, I present this conversation between myself and Boy Detective, back when he was three: Boy Detective: Wolverine’s mad because someone (indistinct) his beer. Me: Someone drank his beer? Boy Detective: Someone TOOK his beer. Me: Well that would make him mad, that’s for sure. Boy Detective: (indistinct) Me: What? Boy Detective:… Read more »
Boy Detective: I never give up! Unless there are real live chainsaws. Me: That’s fair.
First conversation: Boy Detective: This zombie gets this car, that zombie gets that car. Me: Hang on, why would zombies need cars? What would they do with them? Boy Detective: Have a car fight? Second conversation: Boy Detective: You know what would be a bad idea? A button on the tv remote that says “Light” and what it does is… Read more »
Me: You need new pants. C-Man: Do you think? Me: I do. C-Man: Why do you say that? Me: Because you’re putting on khakis with a t-shirt. C-Man: Woman! Me: I don’t think you get to “woman” me on a day I’m letting you go play [War Machine] all day long. Boy Detective: I think good parents shouldn’t argue.
Me: Children’s films overwhelmingly contain namecalling, romantic themes which a five year old boy likely has little to no interest in, potty humor, and slapstick comedy that is boring to adults who are me. Discuss. Sister, who has three children: Yes.
Boy Detective: I don’t like this book. Me: What? Why? What’s wrong with it? Boy Detective: I’m just not interested in it. Me: You haven’t even had a chance to find out the story. Boy Detective: But I was looking at it, and Chewbacca, they have him TALKING WITH REGULAR WORDS. Me: What? Give me that…. Oh. Okay, kiddo, on… Read more »
C-Man: And he’s going to need a lunch packed. Me, head halfway under a pillow: I KNOW. C-Man: Sweetie, that was not me saying “Dammit, woman!” You can tell when I mean that because I say “Dammit, woman!” Me: Yeah okay good point.