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Nothing to see here, move along...

Occasionally I like to collect any of my content from other social media that seems worth saving, since it's not like I can trust Facebook or Twitter to be around in 20 years, The disadvantage, of course, is that I can't bring people's comments to my Facebook status updates along without a lot of work, and they're often better than my status updates themselves. But here's hoping the memories will connect up in my mind later on...

So here's my life in Facebook status updates and tweets, April-December 2013. You can probably tell which are the Tweets by how I mangle words to fit within the character limits. I still don't have the hang of Twitter.

April 2013

The nurse this morning said "The gown on, open towards your backside." Don't they usually just say "back"? Especially when one is having an ultrasound of one's gallbladder, which is not kept anywhere near the backside?

Why tonight is better than last night: there is no sand in my kid's hair FOR A CHANGE and his dad is home to handle bedtime so I can relax and finally finish my damn Captain America book. Which I bought six months ago.

May 2013

MUCH of the best music has profanity. I discovered this trying to make a CD for the car now that my 5yo pays attn to lyrics.

I just successfully harangued my husband into ordering a pair of pants on the internet, instead of spending the next three months pretending he's going to drive around town looking for a pair in his desired size to try on, and also complaining that he has no pants. Why did this take haranguing?

I don't think I need to add anything here, the blogger says it all. What Happens When The Pursuits Of “Skinny” And “Strong” Collide?

I am not a gamer, so I don't know much about the Xbox One that was announced a couple of days ago or whether this "highlight reel" video is fair. But whoever edited it is a freakin' genius. C-Man had me start watching it and I found it really annoying until I got the joke and then I couldn't stop laughing. The editor's opinion of the Xbox One announcement is REALLY CLEAR.

Thoughts I never expected to have: THANK GOODNESS I found my son's stash of sparkly butterfly barrettes because now I can get my hair out of my face!

It can't REALLY be so odd that I don't think the evening news is appropriate for my five year old, can it?

Kiddo when he got home tonight: "I can still feel the hula hooping because I did it SO MUCH today." Jenny why don't I ever say that at the end of MY Fridays?!

June 2013

This guy should be treated as a hero, not a criminal. We need more men who stand up for women and others who are being hurt. The Masked Face of Anonymous Steubenville Outs Himself, Is Kind of a Bro.

What I would totally pay for: a service that would come to my house each night at bath time and floss my five year old's teeth so I don't have to.

Not awesome about summer camp: Boy Detective brought home a lunchbox full of ants today.

My attorney's response to the cease and desist letter.

My son has decided he's a turtle, capable of communicating only by snapping his jaws... and rudimentary sign language. Imagination: 1. Internal consistency: 0.

I'm not even sure if I could eat these, I'd have to just look at them, they're so dang pretty. Firecracker Berry Frozen Yogurt Pops by Georgia at The Comfort of Cooking. (And then my sister made them when we visited Colorado!)

This is the kind of discussion we need when something like this happens. Read and reflect: An Open Letter to Paula Deen by Afroculinaria.

Two important summer activities in Texas: (1) swimming, (2) remembering to remove laundry from the washer in the garage before it gets that mildew smell UGH.

Because all of the "inspirational" advice on the internets just makes me so tired... Twelve Habits of Happy, Healthy People Who Don’t Give a Shit About Your Inner Peace

July 2013

I think I am doing vacation right. I can't remember the last time I did this much nothing...

I'm fairly sure that my son's teachers could accurately report how much sleep I've had from seeing how well/badly his hair is done when he shows up at school in the morning. Thank goodness I didn't drop him off today or they might also have noticed my shirt was on inside out all day and had more data for their model.

August 2013

Mission: get more rest, or be on fewer medications that have drowsiness as a side effect, so that brain keeps working for a few hours after dinner. Proof that mission is needed: I took a pen out of my purse the other day and almost tried to use it to unlock my door.

Spending time around children is a great way to have new experiences. For example, when pulling the sheets off my OWN bed to wash them, I have NEVER had a plastic snake jump out at my feet.

I am willing to take children's chewable bubble gum flavored painkiller again... if it's after the zombie apocalypse and that's the only kind left.

Will repeating this and clicking my heels together make it work better? "This year I will work harder at getting to know other parents at my son's school.... This year I will work harder at getting to know other parents at my son's school...."

Four kid's-school events in three days. Talked to maybe 6-8 parents I did not know. One of them, I remember her name. And as long as she wears the same hat and dress the next time I see her, I'll know which one is her. Except I met her at a pool party, and she may not dress like that all the time. Except it's Austin, so maybe she does.

"I did not violate the privacy of your secret lab, I just hid a zombie in it!" Yet another thing I never thought I'd say, and then I had a kid...

Lesson learned: Do NOT order six bottles of chewable vitamins shipped to your house during the summer in Texas. UPS trucks are not air conditioned...

September 2013

Thanks so much to everyone who left birthday wishes for me this weekend! They must have worked, because I got exactly what I wanted for my birthday: I got to leave the house and head for Goodwill to shop, ALONE, with no expectations on when I was supposed to come home. It was wonderful.

September, also known as "the month where Skye and her son have birthdays 10 days apart so it's a race to get through all the thank you notes before the month ends." At least this year the child can actually write his own, albeit in ALL CAPS IT'S LIKE HE'S SHOUTING THANK YOU!

What I learned this weekend: If your plan for a wedding outfit includes a wrap dress, check the weather forecast for any mention of gusting wind. Corollary: slips are GREAT!

No, Skye, for the 437th time, the ice cube tray does not fill up faster when you blast water into it with the kitchen faucet.

What sounds better? "We're having people over for dinner" or "W're feeding a bunch of C-Man's friends tacos so they can play board games at our huge kitchen table"?

I absolutely love that I've started setting my alarm earlier. I get an hour of peace and quiet in the house before the guys get up. It will be even better when I realize that I need to go to bed earlier to compensate.

I think yesterday felt better because before 7:30am, in addition to chores and getting ready for the day, I put 2 (out of 4) heads on a Lego dragon. I just felt so accomplished.

So if I historically wake up at 4am a lot, and can't get back to sleep, when do I maybe consider the possibility that I would be happier if I just got up at 4am every day and went to bed early enough for that to work? (I may be allergic to the sentence I just typed.)

Best line I've seen today: "You don't have to attend every argument to which you're invited!" Thank you Dr. Laura Markham.

I'm at a behind the scenes tour of a Goodwill store, turns out 60% of the revenue that supports their job training and job placement programs comes from the sales at retail stores. Shopping = helping!

Why, in children's picture books, is it always "the farmer" and "the farmer's wife." Women on farms are never farmers too?

I don't think my husband will ever forget to put sunscreen on the backs of his legs again.

So how do you know if a toe is broken, exactly? (This is just a hypothetical question since it's a week and a half before I'm supposed to start running with my 6 year old for his Marathon club, so obviously I would never smash my toe into a doorframe.)

Started My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic TPB with my 6yo son tonight. He loved it. Because boys won't read female characters. OH WAIT.

October 2013

As content creators we should be careful not to repin junk. A stolen pic that "links back" to page 16 of some Tumblr? No.

My favorite Kickstarter right now: AVA SNOW BATTLES DEATH web series. Because of women kicking ass. Check it out.

Things I should know already: Before measuring flour, shut the silverware drawer.

My latest parenting offense - giving away, years ago, whatever My Little Ponies I had as a kid. My son, in disbelief: "You didn't think you'd have a kid who would want them?!?!"

I just found 3-4 feet of rusty chain buried about an inch down under our grass, in the front yard next to the walkway. Apparently when the back yard finally ran out of roofing nails, the front yard decided it was time to show off.

So I visited Boy Detective's class today for an event, and when I walked in, there was a huge bloody gash across his eyelid and temple. And then I realized that if it were actually a huge bloody gash, one of his teachers probably would have, you know, done something? Or seemed the least bit concerned? It turns out they just aren't flustered by red food coloring from science experiments. Which for elementary school teachers is probably good.

Today is the day I will unload the dishwasher, and then not immediately have to fill it and run it again. I am confident.

Thanks to inspiration from Rebecca Lindamood, I am now certified (again) in CPR and First Aid. It's been over 15 years since I was certified. Thank you Rebecca for sharing your experience to help other people be more prepared! If you never read her post about choking (linked above), please do, and consider getting or refreshing your training!

Heartbreaking that this happened to her, applause that she's finding the strength to write this. I'm Daisy Coleman, the Teenager at the Center of the Maryville Rape Media Storm, and This is What Rally Happened.

I bet when we had a baby boy a little over six years ago, my mother in law never imagined spending an afternoon braiding My Little Pony tails with her grandson.

Boy Detective finished the Smuggler's Den level of Angry Birds Rio (finally) and started the jungle level, and now he can't stop making jokes about marmosets. It's going to be a long weekend.

So, um, if you were the fox that's currently under our deck, how the heck would you have gotten into our fenced back yard in the first place?!

November 2013

Can we pay the person who did this to do the same thing all over the internet? I seriously worry about the people who are posting and sharing the unedited versions of these images. YES.

T-Mobile's chat support staff never think I am as funny as I think I am. It's so sad.

C-Man really likes it when I come downstairs and keep him company while he's assembling War Machine miniatures. I can tell because he keeps TALKING TO ME ABOUT THEM.

Things I never thought I'd say but then I had a kid around #54692: "You have permission to scratch your fingernails on your bedsheets as much as you want."

My six year old son is, right now, playing Domino (from the X-Men) versus Splash Woman (from Mega Man). Emma Frost (also X-Men) is now mind controlling Domino so she'll break her own gun. He built all three of them from Lego minifig parts he had around. Because boys are just inherently not interested in female characters, don't ya know. Won't read about them, won't watch movies about them...

I am writing my latest ticket for the IT staff as a "Dear Santa" letter. My boss says it's okay.

Just got a note from my kid's teacher: "Just wanted to confirm with you that he has chosen to recite a poem for Cultural Challenge. What he signed up with says "I Am Boom". I can't remember if that's the name of the poem or if he was just making a statement at the time."

Dear Austin weather, we are only supposed to have winter in February. Thanks!

Sure, we'll take care of the class gerbil over Thanksgiving break. Oh, wait, her exercise wheel bangs repeatedly into the side of her cage so loud I can hear it upstairs. That was not on the brochure!

"Dad, have you two seen Star Wars? If so, you would know what an Ewok is?" (in a hopeful tone of voice)

Yes, I should have washed my hair this morning. No, sadly, I probably haven't learned anything from this.

So this is what captivated my son at the library yesterday. I could barely make him put it down to walk to the elevator even with the promise of checking it out and taking it home: 500 Art Quilts

December 2013

If women supposedly don't like superheroes, comics, sci-fi, etc. why can't I throw a rock on Pinterest w/o hitting a geeky board by a gal?

6yo son alarmed that Invisible Woman just turned into She-Hulk in his Avengers book. Reassured him it's a Skrull and put him back to bed.

Still thinking about and loving this post from The Fat Nutritionist on the term "real food."

Every year our house gets invaded by ladybugs. I just found one crawling into the linen closet. Not sure what they want...

Why the hydrogen peroxide bottle for your contacts and the saline bottle should have different shaped lids: because apparently the bright red cap and extra red warning sleeve on the hydrogen peroxide are not enough to stop SOME people from dousing their contact with it and sticking said contact in their eye.

Why it took Boy Detective a long time to show up at the table: "It took me a while to get my hair out of the magnet."

At least this year we are freezing the mosquitoes properly.

If all chronic pain flareups that benefit from ice packs could be scheduled for not-super-cold weather, I would really appreciate it. (I live in Texas, it shouldn't be that hard to meet this request.)

Having good ideas about holiday gifts and ordering a few things in October is not the same as being DONE with holiday shopping in October. So perhaps should have done a little more shopping and a little less congratulating myself back in October.

Yeah, I don't think my six year old is doing his 1/2 mile Marathon Kids run this morning. It's 30 degrees outside.

"Crush" talk has been going around a lot in my son's 1st-3rd grade class. What he says that many of the boys in his class would rather talk about, in his opinion: "Monsters with super-atomic breath who cause awesome destruction and throw lightning bolts at people."

Me: "That doesn't sound like getting dressed, that sounds like jumping!"
Boy Detective: "AND singing What The Fox Say NING-NING-NING-NING!"
Thank you so much, school talent show...

Concatenate is again proving why it's my most beloved Excel function.

"Mom, there's a war going on at my school."
"What's it about?"
"Kittens versus pigs."

Old plan: early dinner and bath followed by evening visit to holiday lights at wildflower center, then home for stories and bed.
New plan: early dinner, then 6 year old with a cold has sobbing meltdown for various reasons all meaning "I have a terrible headache and I woke up at 5am today." (Playing Little Big Planet with dad now and somewhat less weepy.)
I administered medicinal cookies to the patient when he woke up this morning. I think another dose is called for at this point.

Oh HEY check out the 100.4 fever on my kid that showed up an hour AFTER I gave him Tylenol for his horrible headache. At this rate I may have to make more cookies.

Dear Pinterest, thank you for helping me entertain my sick child today with activities other than "try to trick Mommy into playing Pokemon."

People, I am worn out. I have emailed SEVEN strangers tonight trying to set up playdates for my only child, trying not to sound needy or violate some unwritten social taboo about how you're supposed to do these things. Parenting is hard for introverts! (Not to imply that parenting is easy for extroverts. If anyone says parenting is easy, they are lying. Do not buy beachfront property or gold Rolexes from them!)

The great thing about Lucy the class gerbil visiting us again for the holidays is this: all those noises that are not someone breaking in to kill us? When she's not here, I freak out. When she's here, I think "Oh, it's Lucy."

I have figured out why there are so few kids' picture books about robots. Everyone's busy making books about pirates and princesses.

An extra happy holidays to the people who gave our child gifts that require batteries AND also gave us the batteries! Y'all are geniuses!

51 hours after presents were unwrapped, all Lego set gifts have been assembled.

What the what? Seriously? Ani DiFranco fans and racial privilege

4 Comments

It makes my heart happy to hear about other boys close to Voldemort's age who like My Little Pony and other "girl" stuff. Voldemort got a headband at the store yesterday and told me while he was picking it out, "I won't wear it to big school because they don't understand that boys can wear things they think is girl stuff, but i can wear it to daycare - they like it!"

Skye said at January 13, 2014 1:53 PM:

Girl, if we lived anywhere near each other, our sons would have a LOT to talk about. They could share barrettes, too.

Sarah said at January 14, 2014 8:25 AM:

I hadn't seen that post by the Fat Nutritionists before today. That was a good read, thanks for linking.

Skye said at January 17, 2014 9:16 AM:

Absolutely Sarah! I had struggled to put my finger on my discomfort with that whole rhetoric, so when I saw her post I was like THIS THIS THIS!!!!

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